The last couple months have been really ugly. And even by those standards I just had a really bad session.
I played the full schedule (18 MTTs) and mincashed just one tournament. As the hours went by, time became a blur as I watched unreal beat after unreal beat happen. If I was a 3 to 1 favorite, a 4 to 1 favorite, or even better when the money went in, I watched as the most ridiculous shit fell and crushed my soul.
Just fucking ouch.
I always wonder how the high-volume and best-of-the-best players handle sessions like this.
To me, a session like today's would normally be completely devastating. If not for this little 'october self-discipline project' I've got going on I would probably say "fuck poker" and take a couple days off.
But because I'm trying to establish a routine and learn to control my emotions (instead of my emotions controlling me) I fought my way through today and felt like I played really really well.
If I continue to play as well as I did today then I'll be one happy fella. No doubt about it.
Moving on...
Tomorrow is the first Sunday of the month. And as if most of the tourneys on my Stars schedule aren't high enough variance as it is, tomorrow promises to be extra gambly.
Oh well, bring it on fishes... do your worst.
1 comment:
Way to address it and move on. I get caught up in that feeling and action around poker.
It is called self loathing and has a seductive power but very little productive power, I always have to remind myself that when loathing in that state.
Try printing out a reaffirming message or thought or goal and posting it somewhere around you screen to use as a reality shifter to bounce you back into better state or as mantra (a positive saying to repeat to yourself when times are tough)
Just things to find ways to keep the balance. The mind/emotion is truly one of the hard parts of poker that no one talks about really. You do a good job of describing it Adam nice work.
"Keep your cool, I'm moving towards $25000"
Regards,
Riskbenefiter
Post a Comment