5th 30c

AQo < A10o b v b.

The sick thing is, even if I had held and gone on to win the tourney, I would have only cleared a third of my makeup. 

Pretty eager to put October in the books. Even though that's really not a rational statement (as results aren't discriminate to what month it is) I can easily say this has been my most frustrating period ever in poker.

I can recall though how sweet this game is once the run-good sauce starts pouring on. Just a matter of time.

Monsters

If you looked at this graph and thought of it as somehow being alive, somehow being more than just the stagnant sum of all the data on a spreadsheet reflecting every decision I've made in my last 2,800 tourneys.

What if you imagined it as some kind of beast. Sort of a gentle, caring, confused beast but with a tough and ugly exterior. Scaly and such. His back is arched up but his head is slumped to the ground in shame. He wants to stand proud. He wants to raise his head high.

This is the variance monster. This is my monster. I care for him a great deal. But when I hurt, he hurts. And when he hurts, I hurt.

Please hang in there my dear monster. We'll stand proud with our heads held high again soon. I promise.

How do you stand with your monster?

7th

$44 morning 6max stars.

I had 25% of all chips in play 12-handed and busted on the FT bubble. 

This run is turning into the biggest joke I've ever seen.

More frustration

18th $50 turbo stars
15th 23k full tilt

so got 2nd...

in a dinky $26 PLHE tournament for $680. First was the only score worth 4-digits and I couldn't even pull it off.

Like, I truly am scraping the bottom of the barrel right now. I almost can't even believe I'm in this situation. I finally got seriously focused this month and have put in 240 tourneys and am DOWN 1.1k currently.

So many hands and situations and tourneys where if just a few hands had gone diff I would be talking about another solid month in the books like I used to.

Instead, I'm still trying to get outta makeup and then get back into the serious tourneys and Sundays I was supposed to be playing initially.

I just gotta keep working hard. Eventually I'll blow up and hit score after score and then ideally I'll take that money and go hit some better scores.

Like, this WILL happen. Sorry I'm typing this post while completely under the influence of the sleeping pill Ambien (god bless these pills) but they tend to make my thoughts a little less coordinated than usual .

Anyway, bottom line is stick around cuz im not going anywhere. Things may be as tough for me in poker right now as they ever have been but I 100% guarantee I will be out of this and down an insanely successful path. It just can't go any other way.

I feel really bad for you...

if you end up on my table.

so like...

when am I gonna catch a heater? or, at least, run close to normal?

I've been breaking even or losing for almost 700 games now.

Tonight I finished 18th in the Nightly Seventy Grand on Stars. This brings my total number of 10th - 18th place finishes in the NSG and Fifty/Fifty this year to seven. Number of final tables in those two tourneys this year: Zero.

Anyway, I've put in 98 mtts over the last five days. I'm pretty hungry. I've been playing really well.

C'mon deck, help me out a little please.

Uggg Night?

Last night I cashed 7 of 23 tourneys with those five disappointing (but deep) runs that I listed.

Tonight I went 0 for 16 with, well, zero deep runs.

MTTs... love 'em or hate 'em.

Uggg Night

51st in the 50/50
23rd in the $77 6max
11th 30c
9th 20k
7th Fiddy

Turbo Fiddy