Grrrrrrr

Well I've been putting in some tourney sessions here and there on the 25K Project and its been rough. The rare few times I manage to amass a stack deep in a tournament I can't avoid a ridic two outer or something else retarded. Its been frustrating. The 25K Project roll has slipped below 12K.

And to top it all off I STILL haven't won a 180 man SNG yet. I've been grinding these for over a month now and my results just get more and more disgusting as time passes... isn't it supposed to be the opposite?

























I've been on a downswing in the 45 mans as well:

























The 45 man graph overall tells me these turbo SNGs are profitable and that if I stick with the 180 mans I'll make money in them. But what kind of money? I mean, are these things worth it?

I've always grinded 45 mans on Full Tilt in addition to my regular MTT grind. This helps maintain a healthy bankroll and keeps me sharp in endgame situations. But the 45 mans on Full Tilt are non-turbos and the variance is drastically reduced. The turbo 45 and 180 mans on Stars have wild swings of variance built into their structures. So not only is your ROI less but your profit is less steady.

Let me illustrate what I'm talking about. This first graph is every single SNG I've played on Stars since I started the 25K Project:
























They are comprised of 180 mans, 45 mans, and 18 mans and are virtually all turbos. This next graph is all the $26/45 man/NON-turbos I've played on Full Tilt:
























You can clearly see how much more steady and profitable the non-turbos are.

I mean, sure, the buyin is double on Full Tilt with the non-turbos but look at the vast differences. I played less than one-third the games to earn more than double the profit! That's huge! Less volume, less variance, more profit. And all because of the differences in structures.

With the non-turbos you have plenty more time and can be more patient and wait out the bad players and pick good spots. With the turbos on Stars it feels like a shovefest 15 minutes in. Its a lot harder to pick a good spot in the turbos. And ultimately that's what poker comes down to: picking spots. Bad players lose money over time because they pick mostly bad spots while good players make money over time because they pick mostly good spots.

So whats my whole point here? Well I guess I'm saying I'm not sure about the turbo SNGs on Stars. Right now they are feeling like a lot more work then they're worth.

So, why am I even messing with SNGs? I've always been the kind who likes to be grinding SNGs simultaneously with MTTs. The SNGs are always there to pick up my spirits and my bankroll when I'm down on my MTT luck. But the swings of these turbo SNGs are starting to drive me insane.

Also it really disgusts me that I've played over three-hundred 180 mans and have yet to win a single one. I literally don't think I've ever played ANY tournament over three-hundred times and NOT won it at least once.

I would love to switch to non-turbo 45 and 180 mans on Stars but unfortunately they virtually never run. All the action is in turbos on Stars for some reason. So its either turbos or nothing.

I can't see myself NOT grinding SNGs while I play a schedule of MTTs so with that thought in mind I'm gonna continue on with the turbo 45 and 180 mans for awhile longer. I'll make a more definitive decision about them after I get in a larger 180 man sample.

So what else is going on? Not much. Like I mentioned in my recent post titled "Motivation" I've been struggling to find that fire inside me about poker and about this project. Maybe theres something wrong with me that I have these intense phases of motivation and accomplish some amazing things then abruptly it turns to a phase of "bluh" and "meh" towards everything.

I was diagnosed as bipolar a few years back and have been on and off meds for it but I'm not sure what role that plays in my motivational level towards poker.

I know I have the potential to be a pretty sick poker player and have amazing results but there is vast inconsistency in my moods and state-of-mind which keep me from reaching that potential.

I think its something I'm slowly conquering though. For the last five months I've been on a new med that I think is really helping to clear out my head and make me a more stable person. But these things take time and I'm not sure when I'll be ready to reach my full potential level.

Guess I better wrap this post up... its so easy for me to get rambly.

glgl