2009 Wrap-up, Twenty-Ten Goals (Part 2)

In my last post I was summing up my 2009 poker results and explaining how I'm coming to terms with my depression.

I was a very inconsistent player in 2009, due to the bipolar I believe. Having said that, it is my main focus to become a more consistent person in twenty-ten, and therefore a more consistent player.

Thinking back, I realize there were some mistakes I was making which kept me from having a better year in poker:

1) Not playing enough, especially when I was winning

2) Focusing more on minimizing my downswings rather than maximizing my upswings

3) Getting too emotionally attached to a big stack late in a tourney then being devastated when I bust

4) Focusing too much on 45-mans to cut down variance

I realize now that for the longest time I've been too worried with avoiding losing. Above all else, I seem to hate losing more than I love winning. This is not good, especially in a game where losing is inevitable and sometimes prolonged.

Currently, I'm on a thirteen day consecutive playing streak. I'm pretty sure thats a record for me. Not only have I played for thirteen straight days but I've played about 260 MTTs in that period of time as well. To me, this indicates a real change in my mindset.

In my last post I mentioned how I've been on an epic four-month micro grind. Well the good news is I've finally busted out of the micro stakes with a series of decent scores over the past week.

On Jan 2nd I took 2nd in a $5 KO tourney with 1200+ for about $850. Then on Jan 4th I took 3rd in a $5 cashout with 1300+ for $650. A couple nights ago I took 6th in the 32K with 1600ish for $1650. Later on that night I took 5th in the midnight madness with 2200+ for 1K.

This nice little run in large fields was the culmination of months of grinding a small roll. I came to Michigan on August 28th with about $3,500 in my full tilt account. I immediately went on a horrible downswing. It was as low as $700 and as high as $3,500 again. It swung up and down in that range for about 2,000 games.

Here is the graph of that time period between Aug 28th and last night:

My roll is now over 6K and I'm pumped to finally be able to play some of the tourneys I used to play. In fact, I'm not only pumped, but I have a very specific goal for twenty-ten.

This is how I figure it: If I made 50K last year grinding midstakes mtts while being bipolar and not really treating it then I should be able to make 100K this year with everything I learned about myself from last year. Phew, that was a mouthful.

I mean, I don't really know what else to aim for. I'm the kind of person who constantly has to be trying to achieve something. My depression got in the way of the 25K project last year and I spazzed out half way through. I will basically consider this a 100K project except a lot of the other parameters won't apply.

It will be pretty simple I think. I'm gonna do a few basic things:

1) Follow the 200 buyin rule

2) Avoid the distraction of 45-mans

3) Be a consistent player

3) Continue to play even when running horribly

That's about it. I mentioned before that I'm my own worst enemy. I tend to read more into things than are actually there. I end up convincing myself that everything is pointless.

But being aware of this horrible thought process, I feel like I'm able to control my thoughts and emotions a whole lot better. This will allow me not to become overwhelmed and devastated when I'm running poorly. I won't stop playing for a few weeks when I'm running like shit like I have in the past.

I can say this for FACT: if I play at least twenty days out of every month this year I will reach the 100K profit mark. Consistency is the key for me.

At some point I'll do the graphs and stuff on my blog for the 100k profit thing like I did the 25K project. I think it will be real exciting for ppl to follow along and exciting for me to see if I can play as consistently as I feel like I'm able to right now.

Let's have a great Twenty-Ten!!