More Deep Runs, More Disappointment

Another night of deep runs with agonizing results. I min-cashed the $20r. I min-cashed the $5 2r1a again. I finished 49th in the Nightly 70K when I shoved my 88 from the SB against an aggro LP opener who woke up w/QQ. But that didn't hurt too badly cuz I was one of the top five stacks in the $3r at the time with about 45 players left (almost 5,000 starting players). When down to the final two tables I was 2/18 with over three million chips and in good position to claim the $7K 1st place prize. But down to 12 players I only had 10 BBs and the chip leader only had about 40 BBs. The structure turned horrible at the end. Five-handed and on the final table bubble I ran my 99 into QQ and busted 11th for a pathetic $250ish. It was earily reminiscent of my 11th place finish last month in the mini FTOPS Main Event (with over 10,000 players) where first place was worth 92K and I picked up a paltry 4K. I remember how horribly I felt after that.

A lot of emotions are involved in going deep in tourneys and getting your hopes up and being disappointed most of the time. I've cashed and gone deep in ten tournaments in the last 24 hours and don't have even a single final table to show for it. Right now I feel like I'm not meant to win. I'm feeling like "why do I even bother?" These are normal human emotions but if I let them get the best of me I'm in a lot trouble.

Over the last couple years of playing poker seriously Ive learned that the most important thing a person can do (as long as they are playing their best) is learn to let a session go. If I carry my frustration into tomorrow's session thinking thoughts like "well I just can't win" or "this game is too hard to beat" then I'm setting myself up for failure. I'll only be paying attention to how my luck is running. I won't be focusing in on situations where luck plays no factor.

This game is ALL about mindset once you have the fundamentals down and aren't making mistakes on the felt. So instead of complaining about my luck and how I could easily have my roll over 10K right now "if only I ran better deep" I'm going to completely let tonight's results go and focus in on tomorrow. I'm gonna wipe the slate clean and tackle tomorrow's tourneys with as much fearless aggression and determination as I have for the last four days.

Ok rant over. I played 34 SNGs tonight as well:
























I also thought it might be cool to show the graph of my SNGs since I started Phase Two four days ago:


























Also my complete SNG graph since I started the project 58 days ago:


























I think its always cool to be able to look at the graphs and see how far you've come from the start. For me its motivational. Every single session or day has its own funky-looking graph that could be up or down or twisty but when you put all those graphs together they make sense and have a meaning.

Well thats a wrap. Back at it tomorrow.