Lots of Work

ahead of me. It looks like I'm just gonna play on my own again and it looks like I'm starting from the very bottom (exactly where I started the year).

I'm feeling pretty awful right now about the way everything has happened over the last four months. Several things went wrong during the same period of time. I just simply shouldn't be in this situation, yet I am. It disgusts me a lot to think about it right now and the sooner I forget about it the better.

I'm not sure what my update status will be on the blog. I expected I would have shipped something significant by now but I haven't. And whats worse is I'm starting completely over.

To be completely honest, I feel really really sick about poker right now. I'm not 100% sure I'm gonna dive back into the micros full steam ahead like I have a couple times before. I know it will yield success and move me up again to midstakes but the excitement of all that is lacking in the moment.

As usual, with me, who knows how I'll feel at a certain point in time or why. I can't see myself doing anything other than poker (in terms of income) so it's not like I'm gonna quit. I just don't know if I'm gonna put in the necessary volume to crush micro and roll into low/midstakes. No matter what, meh, I'm not sure I care as much as I used to.

Hope all your Holidays have been going great so far. Merry Xmas in advance :)

Backer

I'm currently looking for a new backer. If you're interested please email me at adamsapple1919@gmail.com.

Sundays

I've technically had three winning Sundays in a row though this last one hardly counts.

I finished 14th in the $55 500-cap tourney on Stars
9th in the $26 33k KO tourney (with 3600+ entrants and 14.6K to 1st place sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh)
and like 350th in the $640 FTOPS Main Event for 1.2K.

It was a Sunday with some major major potential and I capitalized on it just enough to come out +350 on the day. Ya. Wow. Phew. I really tore it up.

The one thing I feel right now is that I might be coming closer to being the player I want to be. Playing closer to the stakes I should be playing and possibly learning to deal with/accept the downswings that come with those stakes.

One thing I noted on my blog at the beginning of this year about last year (that I wanted to improve upon) was learning to focus more on maximizing my winnings rather than minimizing my losses. I've done better with it this year but I'm not really on the level I want to be on with that. I think I am getting closer though.

Well, even though these last three Sundays haven't even gotten me out of makeup they are a much-needed breath of fresh air into what was an almost lifeless corpse.

Much Needed Win

QQ < JJ deep in the $322 FTOPS and KK < A8o for a huge pot w/ four tables left in the 10r on Stars.

Coulda just as easily been all the way out of makeup today and then some. Whatever. Just gotta keep on grinding. For the first time ever I can say I've had two winning Sundays in a row.

Dent

I got 3rd in the morning $75 KO on Full Tilt today for $4,145. Being a Sunday, the prize pool was bloated with extra money (more than double it's usual 17.5K guarantee).

It took me nearly three months and 647 tourneys to accumulate 11.4k in makeup. I cleared 31% of that in just one tourney. Had I won this tourney (9k) I would have cleared just under 80% of makeup in one shot. This is the power of MTTs.

Post

I'm getting so so sick of updating my graph in the same ridiculous direction it's been going. I'm not trying to draw a mountain here ffs.

Sunday was a complete disaster. Standard.

Early morning Tuesday session yielded a final table in a $109 on stars with like 120 players. Obv I finished 9th. Tonight I got 8th in the $77 turbo 6max on stars.

It's so absurd how many 7th through 18th place finishes I've had. I'm so hungry for this nonsense to end.

I played more tourneys in October than I have any other month all year (except January when I was grinding the micro sched). October turned out to be the only month where I played 250+ tourneys and DIDN'T show a profit.

I'm really frustrated right now but I think this may all be for the best. If I'm going to make it in poker and in Vegas for at least the next few years then I need some harsh lessons and hard times to make me strong.

The only good news I've had recently was finding out tonight that the tea party kook running for Senator here in Nevada got her ass kicked. I'm not a huge fan of democrats anymore but I'll choose them any day of the week over people who want to close their eyes and ears and brains to the world around them and pretend like humans don't face major issues. Seems like politics right now is all about choosing the lesser of two evils. Idk, w/e, I'll figure it all out someday.

5th 30c

AQo < A10o b v b.

The sick thing is, even if I had held and gone on to win the tourney, I would have only cleared a third of my makeup. 

Pretty eager to put October in the books. Even though that's really not a rational statement (as results aren't discriminate to what month it is) I can easily say this has been my most frustrating period ever in poker.

I can recall though how sweet this game is once the run-good sauce starts pouring on. Just a matter of time.

Monsters

If you looked at this graph and thought of it as somehow being alive, somehow being more than just the stagnant sum of all the data on a spreadsheet reflecting every decision I've made in my last 2,800 tourneys.

What if you imagined it as some kind of beast. Sort of a gentle, caring, confused beast but with a tough and ugly exterior. Scaly and such. His back is arched up but his head is slumped to the ground in shame. He wants to stand proud. He wants to raise his head high.

This is the variance monster. This is my monster. I care for him a great deal. But when I hurt, he hurts. And when he hurts, I hurt.

Please hang in there my dear monster. We'll stand proud with our heads held high again soon. I promise.

How do you stand with your monster?

7th

$44 morning 6max stars.

I had 25% of all chips in play 12-handed and busted on the FT bubble. 

This run is turning into the biggest joke I've ever seen.

More frustration

18th $50 turbo stars
15th 23k full tilt

so got 2nd...

in a dinky $26 PLHE tournament for $680. First was the only score worth 4-digits and I couldn't even pull it off.

Like, I truly am scraping the bottom of the barrel right now. I almost can't even believe I'm in this situation. I finally got seriously focused this month and have put in 240 tourneys and am DOWN 1.1k currently.

So many hands and situations and tourneys where if just a few hands had gone diff I would be talking about another solid month in the books like I used to.

Instead, I'm still trying to get outta makeup and then get back into the serious tourneys and Sundays I was supposed to be playing initially.

I just gotta keep working hard. Eventually I'll blow up and hit score after score and then ideally I'll take that money and go hit some better scores.

Like, this WILL happen. Sorry I'm typing this post while completely under the influence of the sleeping pill Ambien (god bless these pills) but they tend to make my thoughts a little less coordinated than usual .

Anyway, bottom line is stick around cuz im not going anywhere. Things may be as tough for me in poker right now as they ever have been but I 100% guarantee I will be out of this and down an insanely successful path. It just can't go any other way.

I feel really bad for you...

if you end up on my table.

so like...

when am I gonna catch a heater? or, at least, run close to normal?

I've been breaking even or losing for almost 700 games now.

Tonight I finished 18th in the Nightly Seventy Grand on Stars. This brings my total number of 10th - 18th place finishes in the NSG and Fifty/Fifty this year to seven. Number of final tables in those two tourneys this year: Zero.

Anyway, I've put in 98 mtts over the last five days. I'm pretty hungry. I've been playing really well.

C'mon deck, help me out a little please.

Uggg Night?

Last night I cashed 7 of 23 tourneys with those five disappointing (but deep) runs that I listed.

Tonight I went 0 for 16 with, well, zero deep runs.

MTTs... love 'em or hate 'em.

Uggg Night

51st in the 50/50
23rd in the $77 6max
11th 30c
9th 20k
7th Fiddy

Turbo Fiddy

I'm Alive

It's been a long last couple weeks.

Anyway I got 2nd in the $77 turbo 6max on stars a couple nights ago for 3.7k.

Plenty more to come imo.

Not So Good Start

I was hoping not to start out my backing on a downswing but that's not how it's worked out so far.

I'm not going to get into too many details regarding specific amounts and details about the staking but I will continue to update my MTT graph and you can draw your conclusions from that.

Also, I'm trying to figure out (using excel) how to change the color of the data on the graph where I become backed. You'd think it would be super simple but I'm struggling with it. If anyone has a solution please let me know, if not I'll keep messing with it.

In other news, I'm in the process of moving to Vegas right now and for about the next week. While I'm not going out there to play 10K buyins or twenty-five events at the WSOP or anything, I do know that poker is in my future for at least the next few years. I  might as well live in Vegas for a while, maybe longer.

Also, houses out there are incredibly cheap at the moment given the housing bubble and the state of the economy. I hope to be purchasing my own home sometime in 2011 and getting a great deal on it.

That's it for now.

Backed

Big news: I'm no longer playing on my own.

This is not a permanent thing. This allows me to open up my range of buyins and play slightly higher daily tourneys and a much broader Sunday schedule.

I haven't figured out yet how this is going to affect my blog. The graph at the top of the page that I've always kept is my own profit from grinding up my own bankroll. I don't think I want to mix that graph with my new staking results.

I'm completely open to suggestions on how I might merge my own results with my staking results in a way that makes sense.

Well, I have a good feeling about this. Wish me luck!

Quick Update

Haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd throw something up real quick.

Just got 4th in the 30c on FT. Also finished 9th in the $10k Sniper on UB tonight. Got 3rd in the 30r on UB a little less than a week ago. Stars has been a nightmare for me as always.

In my last 286 tourneys I've made a whopping $133.48. I'm starting to really question whether or not I can make 100K this year.

I keep saying/thinking I'm running below expectation but maybe I'm not. The game has gotten so much harder. More aggressive players forcing more showdowns. The edges are getting slimmer and I just don't think you can really rape it anymore.

I'm obviously feeling pretty negative and burned out right now but, who knows, maybe I'll hit some kind of heater or something and hit my goal after all.

2nd in 18K

What an emotionally draining month July has been. I've taken a good amount of time off the past couple weeks and my sleep schedule has gotten kinda screwy. I've been burnt out on poker as this month has been such a roller coaster ride.

I played last night for the first time since Sunday (the 25th) and I only played the second half of my schedule (starting at 11pm). Luckily I was able to pull out a 2nd place in the $26 18k Guarantee. I really needed the boost of confidence.

The money doesn't even get me back to my peak profit for the year but the confidence-booster is probably more important anyway. It reminds me that my heater WILL come.

Healthy volume, anyway...

Having played 293 tourneys so far this month, and given the fact there are still nine full days of play left, I'm easily on pace to have my second largest month of the year in terms of volume (and largest since I stopped playing low stakes tourneys). This is good news.

And while the absurd beats and situations won't come to an end, I'm very happy with my play and my focus this month. All I can do is focus on making good decisions and continue playing. That's ALL we can do in this game. The rest takes care of itself.

Just Stuck

On July 1st I won the 20K for 5.2k. Things were looking up. Then I ran deep in a whole bunch of tourneys and got disappointed tremendously. Then I won the 15K for 4k and change. Things were again looking up. Then I continued to run deep in some big tourneys but come up short at the end.

Overall, my last 250 games have been intense, frustrating, and worst, not even break even. Since the 20K win on July 1st I'm down 1k. It's completely absurd. I've been playing so well. This is one of those stretches where if just a few hands had gone differently I'd be up 10 or 15k on the month right now instead of sitting at 4k.

Two nights ago I bubbled the FT of the 30c. Tonight I bubble the FT of the 20r when my AK lost to 88 then I go onto bubble the FT of the 20k when my AK lost to KQ.

Obv Sunday was another disappointment... like I even need to mention it.

Just sigh. Gotta keep movin' along though. My big rush IS out there and it WILL come.

Absurd Opportunities

I've had an upsetting last couple nights. They have basically summed up my frustration this year as a whole.

I've now bubbled the final table of the Fifty/Fifty and the Nightly Seventy Grand three times EACH this year. Not a single FT in either and they have been the staple of my nightly schedule since basically February.

Last night I bubbled the 23K FT and tonight I finished 7th in the Turbo Fiddy (another tourney I just get raped in).

Every time I think I'm on the cusp of a breakthrough month or a huge upswing I start to run well below expectation. My average buyin for the year stands at $40.82 (through 2,033 games) while my average profit per game stands at just $20.04. This is an absurd ratio. This is the kind of profit margin I had when I grinded 45-mans.

I know that 40K profit is on the LOW end of expectation for any given 2,000-game period based on the schedule I've played and the +EV decisions I've made. It's just a matter of time until I breakthrough and start seeing the results I know I should be seeing.

Tomorrow is yet another Sunday and yet another bevy of opportunities. Hopefully I can turn my long string of upsetting Sundays around.

Won the $26 6max KO

As advertised.

This is another tourney (per my last post) that has haunted me a long time. A few FTs before but never won it. Feels good obv.

I finished a disgusting 10th place in the 20r on Stars tonight also. I lost a flip on the bubble. So be it. Not a bad night considering I played an abbreviated schedule. I stopped loading @ 11pm (see my current schedule).

So I've played more tourneys in the last six days than I ever have, having already played 127 MTTs in just the first six days of July. In my last post I noted how I was 2/3 of the way to a Triple Crown, having won a tourney on UB and Full Tilt within a six-day period, thus leaving me with just one day to win a tourney on Stars to complete the crown. I mentioned how it wasn't a big deal.

Well it ended up being a bigger deal to me than I thought because I stayed up all of Friday morning (having been up all day Thursday) and played 40 tourney on Stars that were qualifiable for the TC. I loaded tourneys for 12 hours. The best I managed was a 14th in an $8r and a 17th in the $50 1r1a. It was exhausting and left me very unsatisfied but I feel like it was worth the effort. Winning a TC would have made my year.

Anyway, I proceeded to bubble the FT of the 50/50 AGAIN on Saturday night then have a really awful Sunday (losing 1k). I FTd the $55 Sniper 10K Guarantee on UB last night with the chip lead but ended up finishing a very disappointing 8th at a table full of complete fish. I'm very happy I won this tourney tonight because I was on a 3k downswing coming into today with a lot of bitter, close finishes in the process.

K I'm tired so I'm off to bed. GL out there.

edit: also officially broke the 40k profit mark.

Starting July with a Bang!

Won the 20k for $5,200.

This tourney has kind of been haunting me all year long. It's the last tourney I load in my schedule and I've FTd it plenty (including a 2nd) but never shipped it. Nice to get that monkey off my back.

To boot, I knocked out the lovely Cyndy Violette in 3rd place and picked up her bounty. Was weird seeing her in such a late night tourney, or even seeing her playing at all really. I just never cross paths with her or even see her in lobbies.

I also FTd the $30 1r1a but ran badly and busted 7th.

Tonight's session started off so so so horribly and I almost stopped loading after my first couple hours. Obviously I'm very happy I played it out.

Well this win ironically comes just one day after I make my "running below expectation" post and comes on the first day of the second half of the year. Hopefully that's a good sign :)

edit: also just realized I'm 2/3 of the way to a Triple Crown for Pocketfives. I would need a win on Stars and unfortunately only tourneys that start before 22:00 EST tonight (Friday 2nd) count. I think? I won the UB 30r last Friday night and it started at 22:00 so... pretty sure this is how the TC works. Anyway, I don't start my session until like 21:00 so idk. Maybe I'll throw in the NHG or something to have a tiny extra chance but I'm not counting on it. I just think it's a cool note.

June Review

Well June ended with almost identical numbers to May. I'll just get right to it:












 




I played 328 MTTs with an average buyin of $48.62 and made $6241.59 profit. Click on the graph at the top of the page to see how ridiculously and strangely similar this month was to last month.

This was my highest average buyin month of the year. I attribute this to the fact that I played two $216 majors every Sunday. I'm definitely investing more in Sundays as the year progresses and I hope it pays off by years-end

Even though these last four months have been steady volume and steady profit I definitely can't shake the feeling I'm running below expectation. Maybe even significantly below expectation. I know it seems strange to look at the consistency and think that but I feel it pretty strongly. Here's why.

My schedule has been quite consistent the last four months and so have some certain results:

1) I have yet to make even one FT of my largest potential nightly payout tourneys (the 50/50 on Full Tilt and the Nightly Seventy Grand on Stars). This has got to give at some point.

2) I have yet to have a single significant Sunday score despite the decent volume I've put in on Sundays.

So I mean, things just simply CANNOT continue on this way. I've got to eventually hit the 50/50 or the NSG for as often as I play them and/or I've got to hit something on a Sunday worth five-figures. I just can't keep running below expectation as I have.

This leads me to believe I'll have at least one standout month in the second half of the year where I have 20K+ profit but with no extra volume. At least one month like this will be necessary for me to meet my yearly goal. Speaking of which...

The year is half over and I stand below the halfway point to my goal of 100K profit ($34.6K). I feel like I've clearly stated why I think I'm below and why I think I'll make it (even though I don't appear to be on pace for it).

I've played 1,870 MTTs so far this year and this alone is a huge accomplishment for me. I'm averaging about 312 per month and as long as I can maintain that pace I think I'll have a graph to be very proud of by years-end.

Ship UB 30r

for 4.8k. Sweet. About time I shipped something too.















36k profit on the year.

Did Christian Kruel, a red Full Tilt pro, really leave a comment on my last post?

Speaking of Sundays...

I just got done making a post on Saturday about how I've gone the whole year without a Sunday score and how it's affected my pace and finishing the year with 100K profit.

Well just to dick-tease me yesterday I guess, I finished 7th in the Sunday 20r on Full Tilt for 1.5k. My JJ lost to 99 aipf xJQK10. Pretty fucking absurd though. 1st place was worth 12.2k and that was virtually a chip lead pot.

I mean, I'm gonna need those kinds of 10k+ scores if I'm gonna get to 100k. What a completely frustrating result.

And just to put into perspective how effectively worthless the 7th place money is, I was in for 1.1k in buyins yesterday. So all I really did was break even.

I mean, I guess I'm gonna do some bitching and whining and moaning right now so if you don't wanna hear it then this would be the time to stop reading.

I feel like I've been "breaking even" all year long to be completely honest. And while my graph and actual results don't reflect that I can't help but feel it strongly. For the amount of work I've put in so far this year I feel like I should have more profit and be more satisfied with my results.

I've bubbled the FT of the NSG on Stars twice this year. I've bubbled the FT of the Fifty/Fifty on Full Tilt twice this year. Those are my only nightly chances of a 10k+ score.

And then yesterday I'm finally in position for a fantastic Sunday midstakes score and it gets brutally taken away from me.

I realize this is all pretty standard but at the same time I've got my fingers crossed that I run better in key spots in bigger tourneys in the second-half of this year. I mean, I don't see how I can get to 100K profit unless I do.

Ok well I guess I'm done complaining now about how shitty I run ha. I know it's tough for ppl who don't really have any kind of results in poker to read a post like this and think "damn I'd gladly have his results..."

Alright well GL out there and keep your chins up. Good things happen to people who constantly strive for them.

Back From Vegas

So I took a quiet trip to Vegas from Mon the 14th through yesterday, Fri the 18th. I stayed at the Venetian and played one of the $350 Deepstack Events. I played for seven hours and busted long before the money, running KK into AA. You really get heaps of bang for your buck in the Deepstacks.

It was completely weird how I knew the guy had AA too. But it was like my online conditioning just wouldn't let me fold KK. I was kinda disgusted with myself.

Anyway, I was supposed to play more Deepstacks but I ended up playing some cash and really just spending lots of time in my suite. I actually played online Thurs night on my laptop and made a couple FTs ha.

K so I'm back though and ready to get back to my schedule and back to my goal of making 100K this year. I've only logged 180 MTTs this month and I'm figuring I need something like 400 to 500 MTTs/month to meet my goal given the pace I'm currently on. I'm not sure I can manage that without burning myself out or getting too depressed again when the inevitable extended downswing hits.

It's difficult to calculate an "MTT Profit Pace" though really. I mean, I can get a pretty good idea of what kind of profit I can expect from my nightly MTT grind but Sundays are a whole different ball game. I end up spending a decent chunk on those tourneys and because they only come once a week and have heaps of players it's difficult to get a good sample size. I've gone basically half the year without a Sunday hit (totally normal) and that reflects my current pace. I could hit like back-to-back good Sunday scores and it would totally change my pace so...

Anyway GL out there guys and I hope to have some more results posted soon.

Edit: Trying out some new things on my blog here. There are a bunch of new templates to choose from so I thought I'd go for a fresh look. Also added some music. I like it. 

30K

Broke the 30k mark tonight.

May Recap

I put in some good volume (by my standards) in May and had a pretty solid month. Even though it started out like complete shit it rapidly turned around (as is the nature of MTTs).
















I played 304 MTTs in May with a total profit of $6,323.36

Average buyin = $42.68
Average Profit/Game = $20.80

As a whole, I've been very consistent this year so far with my playing/volume. As I've said before, this is the most important thing for me. Simply just getting in there and playing and then the results come.

I hope to carry on my consistency into June and throughout the rest of the year.

gl out there readers.

edit: I've added a Month-by-Month chart to my blog showing the breakdown of each month's data for this year. Click the graph at the top of the page to see it. 

3rd in $75/24k

As advertised.

I'm definitely not gonna complain about the 3.7k score but damn I wanted to ship this. The 8k was looking juicy and the final table wasn't strong. With the schedule I play I'm not often in the running for an 8k score.

Oh well, moving on to tomorrow.

BBT5

For the last few weeks I've been participating in the BBT5 Series.

No clue what that is? Hey no worries, I had no clue until recently either (huge thanks to Shabazz Jenkins for letting me know about it).

Go here to learn what it's all about (or click the banner on the right side of the page).

I was lucky enough to win The Mookie on Wednesday the 26th (the last qualifier) and then lucky enough to go on and get 5th in the Tournament of Champions last night for a $2,000 Bracelet Race Prize Package. 

In the course of playing the BBT5 tourneys I met some really good players and some really awesome people. I was also turned on to BuddyDankRadio which broadcasts the BBT tourneys and is highly entertaining. BDR made my Monday and Wednesday night grind a lot easier.

So basically big thanks to Full Tilt for putting up the money, AlCantHang for organizing/running BBT (I think?), BDR, and all the cool people who participated... it was a lot of fun and I look forward to doing it again next year!

Just a Little Something More

ooooooo hi there readers of my blog  :)

So tonight was a goot goot night imo. After last night's 3rd in the 15K 6max KO I was feeling pretty confident and ready for another session.

Tonight I took 6th in the $33 18k Guarantee on Stars for 1k. Then I took 3rd in the $10r 15k Guaranteed on full tilt for 1.7k. Then to top it off I took 2nd in the $75 20k Guarantee for a smooth 3.3K. I should have won the 20K. We were even in chips and we got it all in my AQdd to his AJo. KJxxx bluh. So w/e. Can't do anything about that.

I feel the relief I knew I'd feel right now.

K news time. Live Pokerz.

This Friday I'm playing a $360 satellite to the Heartland Poker Tour here in Mt. Pleasant, MI. The main event buyin is $1650 (which I won't pay directly) but I'll surely play the satty to get in. The Heartland Tour has televised FTs on VS so that would be awesome.

Also, on June 14th through the 17th I'll be in Vegas @ The Venetian playing three of their $330 Deepstack events on the 14th, 15th, and 16th. I also hope to grind the cash tables for a bit and make some there.

So weeeeeee just like that. I was down like 7 to 8k over a month and then in two nights I reach a new peak profit for the year of $25,117.00

Poker is such a sickkkkkkkkk sickkkkk game!!!!!!!!

gl

Just a Little Something

Two nights ago I got 2nd in a late $33 6max on UB for just under 1k. Then last night I got 3rd in the $26 6max KO 15K guarantee on full tilt for 1.7k.

These scores put a moderate dent in my downswing but what they do more importantly is give me my confidence back. They let me know I CAN win flips late. They let me know I CAN hold when a 4:1 fav. They let me know I CAN win the occasional important 60/40.

So when I start my session tonight I'll have some extra confidence going in.

Sedation

The blog title is a bit of a joke.

I'm starting a medication today that is supposed to be very sedating and possibly make me incredibly sleepy or be "out of it" for a few days.

The half-joke with the blog title is regarding my recent poker results. With the current downswing I'm on, perhaps I won't mind being "sedated".

Since my peak yearly profit of $23,836 on April 16th (twenty-four days ago) I'm down $4,867 to $18,969. With my average buyin being at $45, that puts my downswing at 108 buyins. This has occurred over the course of 222 tourneys. 

Also, I ran my "Stepping My Way to The WSOP" plan for six days, costing me $450. I didn't earn a single Step 5 ticket. And while this is normal variance, I'm definitely putting this plan on an indefinite hold until my MTT situation turns around. Winning a Main Event seat is secondary to my living of playing tourneys online.

Well sorry about the depressing post. This game is incredibly unglamorous sometimes, just like life. I'm trying my hardest to make it through times like these, something I've struggled a great deal with in the past.

gl out there.

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Rough Patch

This is the way poker goes. There are good times and there are bad times. I'm down about 70 buyins over my last ~150 games.

In a five-day period, I finished 11th in the Nightly Seventy Grand on Stars, 10th in the 50/50 on Full Tilt, then 60th or so in the Double Deuce (after being 1/72).

As if that weren't frustrating enough I then proceeded to cash just 3 of my last 57 MTTs.

This is another shining example of why BR management is so important and why the long run is everything in this game.

Well my session is starting. Hope to break out of this soon. GL.

Stepping My Way To The WSOP

Full Tilt recently introduced their "Steps" SNGs whereby you work your way up seven different steps with the ultimate goal being to win a Step 7 SNG and shipping a 12K WSOP Main Event prize package.

Phew, what a mouthful.

It's all right here actually if you don't know/want to know how it works.

So basically I've gotten pretty excited about this. I love the idea of starting at a small level and working your way up using nothing but your initial equity and equity you accumulate. It's the very foundation of how I approach poker tournaments. I start small, follow BR management, and work my way up through time and effort. 

Obviously I have a plan of action for my Steps approach. I mean, that's pretty much what I do with my life... I sit around and I plan things out and try to figure out the safest/most efficient way to do things.

Anyway, here's what I'm thinking:

Fact One: Full Tilt will be running this promotion until June 27th. This gives me 66 days (and ten Sundays).

Fact Two: The closer we get to the start of the Main Event (on July 5th) the more +EV these steps will be.

Fact Three: All Sundays between now and the end of this promotion will be very +EV for these Steps.

With these three facts in mind, I've tentatively formulated the following plan:

Every night when I start my session I'll load up one Step 4 SNG. I will play until one of two things happen:

1) I win a $640 Step 6 Ticket or
2) I have no more Steps Tickets to play from the initial Step 4 Ticket.

I will save any Step 6 Tickets for Sundays.

On Sundays, if I have any Step 6 tickets, I will use them. If I didn't start the day with any Step 6 Tickets (or if I bust any Step 6 Tickets) I will play Step 4.

I may or may not play multiple Step 4s if I bust, depending on what else is happening with my Sunday.

So that's it. Oh and also there is the 150-Seat Tourney ($640 or Step 6 Ticket) on Sunday, June 20th. I'll probably be in this whether I have won a seat by then or not (it's just so +EV). After all, I have to defend my win in that from last year ;)

K so I'll obv track all my Steps data and post it every now and then on my blog.

Also I've recently become aware of Liv Boeree, winner of EPT San Remo and 1.25 Million Euros.

I'm already a huge fan of Brains AND Beauty but when they come in one incredible, poker-skilled package I lose my mind.

This British girl, in addition to already being a model and skilled guitarist, has a degree in Astrophysics from The University of Manchester in England. That's right, she's a scientist.

At just 25, she has a very promising life ahead of her.

Best of luck to her as she has a house built in Vegas and proceeds to crush poker here in the States. Hey, maybe while she's at it, she can figure out what all the fuss is over Dark Matter :)

First UB Win

Last night I made my first final table on UB and shipped it! It was the 8pm $66 Deepstack 10k Guarantee.

My AKo lost to QJo on the FT bubble and I limped into the FT with 7 BBs and 9/9. I had very little expectations obv.

Once again, it just goes to show you never know in this game and you just gotta keep making good decisions.

I'm really excited about the nightly midstakes schedule on UB and I think I'll be shipping several tourneys over there with the fields being pretty small.

I'm up to just under 24K profit on the year right now.

Sunday $3r Chop

In my last post I threw out my new Sunday schedule. Today I played it but I also added the 11:30am $10c and 12:30 $3r.

It's a good thing too cause my day was awful except for chopping the $3r.

It was a crazy tourney and there's much I don't remember but I do remember that there weren't many weak players down the stretch. I remember being really patient and picking my spots.

When we got to four players the eventual winner had a massive chip lead. We played four-handed for a long time, all four of us being quite savvy in tourney play.

My patience paid off though and I entered heads-up play with 4.8 million chips to his 6.6 million. I still can't believe how many chips were in play.

Anyway we played a few hands then I decided to take a look at some numbers. 1st paid 4.6k and 2nd paid 3k. Being as this guy was pretty good and taking more risks I decided to ICM chop it for 3.6K and leave $100 in the prize pool (exactly like my $10r chop a few days ago). The only difference was I lost in heads-up play.

No regrets though.With almost 2,400 players in the field and being 705 hands and eight hours into the tourney I opted for the nice 3.6k payday.

I also went pretty deep in the Daily Ninety Grand on Stars but ran my A9o and 7ish blinds into AA. Oh well. I'll hit something there someday.

The good news is I finally broke over the 20K profit hump for the year!

I'm sitting at 21.1k profit after 1,051 tourneys so far this year. I'm pretty happy with where I'm at right now in terms of my 100k profit goal.

More to come.

$10r Chop/Win

I ICM chopped the 10r HU on Full Tilt last night as a 1.5:1.1 underdog in chips. We played it out for an extra $100 and for PLBs and I shipped it after my AQo outdrew his 99. I felt he was a good enough player that chopping was a smart move and indeed it did come down to flippage.

I picked up $3,232.50 total, my first decent score in quite some time.

I also ran real deep in the 50/50 last night and had a good stack at a couple points but busted 25th after dual blows of running 1010 into KK then AQo into QQ. Sigh. You need to hit some of those two or three outers down the stretch sometimes to win MTTs.

Last night was my first real night back at MTTs in a while actually. My comp went busto and basically had to be rebuilt which took a few days.

In my last post I mentioned how excited I was about my new Sunday Midstakes Schedule. Here it is:

Noon    $109
Noon    $26
1:00pm $75 6max
2:00pm $26
2:30pm $20r
3:00pm $163
3:00pm $26

3:00pm $55 (Daily Ninety Grand on Stars)

3:30pm $55 Satt to 750K
4:00pm $75
4:22pm $22 Double Deuce

It's about a $715 schedule and while it doesn't contain any of the $200 Majors it certainly is crammed with plenty of 'Midstakes Majors' imo. I played it last Sunday and was overwhelmed with how fishy it was.

So I continue on this year. Hopefully soon I can break over this 20K hump I've been stuck at for a awhile.

Gl out there.

March Recap

In my last post I said I wanted to have 350 MTTs in for March.

Ironically I got in exactly 350 MTTs. I hope to be able to put in this kind of volume every month.

The month ended at +$4,847.01

I FTd the 10r, 20r, both late $75s, and the $30c along with several non-guarantee $11 tourneys. Pretty decent month overall and just goes to show that when I put in the volume good things happen.

I've come up with a midstakes Sunday schedule that I'm really excited about.

I'll get more into it later cause I'm really tired right now.

Keep your heads up out there guys, good things happen to ppl who work for them :)

March 25th Update

A few days after my last post I got 2nd in the 30c for $2,100.

It's been pretty rough since then.

Last night I finally made my first FT in over 140 tourneys. I got 7th in the donkfest 10r and also got 3rd in a non-guarantee $10 tourney.

This game is a tough grind with long stretches of tremendous frustration. I feel like I've come a long way since last year in terms of consistently playing and not getting too down when I hit a downswing. My capacity to "play through it" is substantially better and my results reflect that.

I've played 256 MTTs so far in March with a week remaining. I'd like to have in 350 by months-end but if not oh well.

About a week ago I started playing some tourneys on Stars. Currently I'm running the two $33 freezeouts at 11pm and 2am server time. They are a nice compliment to my late night full tilt schedule and sure are better than grinding all the non-guarantee $10s on full tilt.

My goal is to build a roll on Stars and eventually be playing the Nightly Hundred Grand and Nightly Seventy Grand in addition to my current full tilt schedule. This will help me accomplish my goal of 100K profit this year.

Oh The Irony

I put off making the dreaded 'downswing' post until yesterday because I was waiting until I hit something to update my blog.

Obviously I hit something the next day ha...

I chopped the 20r heads up for 2.9k then went on to ICM chop the 20K for 3.4K.

Earlier in the night I also got 2nd in a non-guarantee $10 tourney for $360 and 4th in a non-guarantee $5c for like $260.

I feel like it's important and very interesting to note that I was down to less than HALF AN ANTE in the $5c with 22 players left.

My A10o lost to A8o aipf when the board came xxxx8. I was left with 126 chips with blinds at 600/1200 and antes at 300. Somehow I won my next several all-in hands in a row before picking up AA and doubling to like three blinds lol. I then got my chips in w/56ss in a multi-way pot and snapped off QQ to have something like 12 blinds. The entire experience was unreal and I went on to finish 4th.

It just goes to show that you really truly never know.

So tonight's four FTs for 7kish in cashes obv erases my ridiculous downswing and puts me back on the right track.

So...

I've been playing my ass off for the last couple weeks. I'm on such a ridiculous run. I've never bubbled more FTs or finished 9th or 8th in my life. I can't even remember what a top three score feels like. 

Currently I'm sitting on a fun little 5K downswing. 

I've been putting off blogging until I could hit something decent but this just isn't getting any better. Key coin flips are going all wrong. I can't stop running AQ into AK. And every time I have a hand like 1010 on the FT bubble or at the FT someone wakes up with QQ or better. I feel like I'm losing my mind. 

But I'm obv a huge advocate of BR management so the only thing devastated is my mindset. I've been able to keep getting in there and playing though so it's only a matter of time until something gives. 

Not Feeling Well Lately

My confidence is not where it should be. My motivation is not where it should be. My hunger to dominate is not where it should be. 

Last night I cut my session short because of how I was feeling. 

I hate when this happens to me. Any long time readers of my blog know exactly what I'm talking about. It's definitely related to the depression. 

I doubt it helps that my last FT was over 100 tourneys ago and that I'm on a 3K downswing. 

I'm also questioning whether or not I should be playing these FTOPS tourneys. 

I feel like I come up with great plans for success but then something like FTOPS comes along and tries to mess with my head. 

I feel like I HAVE to play them because the EV is so high yet I also know I'm likely to not do well in them and I'll be blowing like $1,500 on five tourneys. That is not part of my plan. 

So its like a catch 22. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. Either way I'm left feeling like I made a mistake. 

There's also some petty stuff in my personal life bothering me right now. 

It's kind of funny how my head works. It feels like I can deal with a maximum of just one thing at a time. If that thing is not going well I can handle it and nurse it back to normal eventually. 

But when more than one thing in my head is bothering me I seem to freak out. I start to feel like I'm losing control of all situations. It's very overwhelming and frustrating. 

Right now, about the only thing I feel like doing is drinking. 

Anyway, I hope it doesn't take me too long to pull out of this mental rut. 

Also, huge congrats to my long-time friend Justin "Arsonist88" Shelton for recently shipping a Triple Crown. He's put a lot of effort into the game over the last few years and deserves every bit of success he's had. 

Here's the link to an article on P5s about it. 

Feb 6th Update/Current Sched

Well nothing too exciting has been going on since my last post besides bubbling FTs like it's my job. 

Sunday, January 31st was the sickest Sunday I've ever seen in terms of prize pools. I played 16 MTTs that day and managed a deep run in the Brawl but busted like 105th. Besides a mincash in the Double Deuce and the 30r, that was all I could muster up. I knocked out Josh Arieh in the Brawl for an extra $240 and a tshirt so that was pretty cool. 

I ended up not playing the first three days in Feb. For some reason I was incredibly tired and slept for what felt like days. It was as if my explosive January finally allowed me to rest mentally and physically after four months of grinding and putting all of myself into the game. 

I feel like I'm back on track though and playing my updated late night schedule. It looks like this:

9:30 $55

9:45 $11

10:00 $26 

10:30 $10r

10:45 $11 KO

11:00 $109 6max

11:00 $26 6max KO

11:30 $11 6max

12:00 $75 KO

12:00 $11

12:30 $20r

12:35 $5 1r1a

1:00 $26

1:30 $30 1r1a

1:35 $15 super turbo KO

1:59 $75

2:00 $11 6max

So I'm looking at 17 MTTs at a cost of about $723 bucks. This puts my average buyin at $43. I feel really comfortable with this. 

My plan, as of right now, is to grind this late night sched and then grind a separate Sunday sched. Sundays will be just 8 MTTs. Those 8 MTTs start between 6:00pm and 8:00pm. My tentative Sunday sched looks like this:

6:00 $216 / 750K Guarantee

6:00 $26

6:35 $5r 6max

7:00 $75

7:05 $216 / Sunday Mulligan

7:30 $20r 6max

8:00 $163

8:00 $26

So this is 8 MTTs with a total cost of about $849. 

My reasoning behind playing only 8 tourneys on Sundays is based mostly in my comfort level (and partly in the timing). 

Sundays are expensive and bloody. By playing these 8 tourneys, I am spending a comfortable amount on buyins (only about $100 more than a regular session) while still taking my shots at big scores and taking advantage of all the EV on Sundays. 

This way I ensure Sundays don't devastate me financially or emotionally.

Also, because I'm grinding a late night schedule during the rest of the week, starting at 6:00pm on Sundays is very practical. 

Overall I feel like this is the perfect system/schedule/plan for me as it fits in with my comfort level very well. All I have to do now is just execute...

3rd in 30r

for just over 8K.

Fuck ya.

A score like this has been a long time coming imo. I followed excellent BR management for several months and saw my roll swing up and down time and time again. I knew if I stayed patient my breakthrough would come. Obv Double G's week was the best time for it :)

Chopped 20r

First night of Doubles Week and I chopped the 20r!

I took 4.7K for 2nd and we played it out for $100 as I'm in a Midstakes Team PLB Competition on P5s and needed the points for the team.

I was 36/37 on the bubble and ridic short, down to three blinds, and on an aggro table. I quadrupled thru w/ AQo and ninjad my way to the final two tables as 18/18. Won a flip w/88 against A10dd and picked my spots from there.

At the FT, AJo held against A9o, JJ held against 77, then QQ held against 77 and I found my way HU as about a 2:1 dog in chips. Nadler and I ICM chopped it from there.

There was a ton of talent throughout the entire field. It's really ridic how good players are these days even in the midstakes. The game has def evolved from even one year ago.

K so off to a great start for Doubles Week, a great start for my Team PLB Competition, and a great start to  2010!

Double Guarantees Week Schedule

I'm keepin' it late-night people:

9:30pm $55 

10:00pm $26 

10:30pm $10r

11:00pm $26 6max KO

11:00pm $109 6max

12:00am $75 KO

12:00am $11 

12:30am $20r

1:00am $26

1:30am $30c

1:59am $75

2:30am $22 Turbo Cashout

This is 12 MTTs (all guarantees, duh) at a cost of about $670 (assuming five units in the rebuys).

I'd like to be playing on a 200 buyin roll for this but I'm not. However, I don't see how I can NOT play these tourneys during this insane week. The ev figures to be through the roof. Also, I've won virtually all of these tourneys before at least once and it's been a good while since I've won a decent tourney.

I'd really like to think this is "my week", however I have a difficult time subscribing to that line of irrational thinking. Nonetheless, I feel very confident going into it and expectations are high. I've grinded my roll from a low of $750 in late November to a peak of 7K right now. 

Last night I finished 9th in the 18K guarantee and shipped a late-night $5r. This comes on top of an already successful month and there is no reason to think it should slow down now. I ran like hell for four straight months and the laws of variance allow for equally long periods of run-good. 

So here's hopin' we all run good this week!! (unless of course you're at my table, in which case I hope you lose every pot against me :)

4th in 23K Guarantee

As stated, I got 4th in the $75 23K guarantee the other night for just over 2K. This was very helpful towards having a proper roll for Double Guarantees Week starting on Monday the 25th.

Btw it was sick the amount of talent at the 23K final table. It's a scary-aggressive poker world we live in nowadays.

I'll post my tentative schedule for Double G's week soon.

Also I updated the title and header of my blog to more accurately reflect my current thoughts and feelings.

Mid-January Update

Well there hasn't been a whole lot going on really. I've been playing quite a bit and on a bit of a downswing. The first FT I've made in over 100 tourneys came last night as I got 2nd in a late night $5 1r1a for $700.

I'm obviously rolled to play higher than $5 1r1as but I like to keep tourneys like this in my schedule to bring my average buy in to where it should be since I play $55s and $75s. Also they help cut down variance and keep me motivated to play through a downswing.

My current schedule looks like this:

9:30pm $55 Guarantee

9:45pm $11

10:00pm $26 Guarantee

10:30pm $10r

10:45pm $11 KO

11:00pm $26 6max KO Guarantee

11:30pm $11 6max

12:00am $75 KO Guarantee

12:00am $11 Guarantee

12:35am $5 1r1a

1:00am $26 Guarantee

1:59am $75 Guarantee

2:00am $11 6max

2:15am $33

2:35am $5r

2:45am $11

That's 16 MTTs with a total cost of about $470. This makes my average buy in right around $30 bucks. I see myself grinding this for awhile until I get my roll over 10K.

From Jan 25th through Jan 31st FT is running a Double Guarantee Week where all guaranteed tourneys will have double the prize pools. This is too sick. I'm stoked for this. I'm prbly gonna hit the late night MTTs pretty hard for this as I think they will be the juiciest. I might even play outside my roll a little bit because the EV is so positive.

I'm tentatively thinking I'll be playing basically the same sched as I have now EXCEPT I'll cut out all the non-guarantee tourneys and add in the $20r at 12:30am, the $30 1r1a at 1:30am, and possibly the $109 6max at 11:00pm. Also I may start earlier but I'm not sure.

As promised I'll now be posting my 2010 Sharkscope graph and stats at the top of my blog. I'll update it every couple weeks or when there is a significant change. I will also update it during downswings.

2009 Wrap-up, Twenty-Ten Goals (Part 2)

In my last post I was summing up my 2009 poker results and explaining how I'm coming to terms with my depression.

I was a very inconsistent player in 2009, due to the bipolar I believe. Having said that, it is my main focus to become a more consistent person in twenty-ten, and therefore a more consistent player.

Thinking back, I realize there were some mistakes I was making which kept me from having a better year in poker:

1) Not playing enough, especially when I was winning

2) Focusing more on minimizing my downswings rather than maximizing my upswings

3) Getting too emotionally attached to a big stack late in a tourney then being devastated when I bust

4) Focusing too much on 45-mans to cut down variance

I realize now that for the longest time I've been too worried with avoiding losing. Above all else, I seem to hate losing more than I love winning. This is not good, especially in a game where losing is inevitable and sometimes prolonged.

Currently, I'm on a thirteen day consecutive playing streak. I'm pretty sure thats a record for me. Not only have I played for thirteen straight days but I've played about 260 MTTs in that period of time as well. To me, this indicates a real change in my mindset.

In my last post I mentioned how I've been on an epic four-month micro grind. Well the good news is I've finally busted out of the micro stakes with a series of decent scores over the past week.

On Jan 2nd I took 2nd in a $5 KO tourney with 1200+ for about $850. Then on Jan 4th I took 3rd in a $5 cashout with 1300+ for $650. A couple nights ago I took 6th in the 32K with 1600ish for $1650. Later on that night I took 5th in the midnight madness with 2200+ for 1K.

This nice little run in large fields was the culmination of months of grinding a small roll. I came to Michigan on August 28th with about $3,500 in my full tilt account. I immediately went on a horrible downswing. It was as low as $700 and as high as $3,500 again. It swung up and down in that range for about 2,000 games.

Here is the graph of that time period between Aug 28th and last night:

My roll is now over 6K and I'm pumped to finally be able to play some of the tourneys I used to play. In fact, I'm not only pumped, but I have a very specific goal for twenty-ten.

This is how I figure it: If I made 50K last year grinding midstakes mtts while being bipolar and not really treating it then I should be able to make 100K this year with everything I learned about myself from last year. Phew, that was a mouthful.

I mean, I don't really know what else to aim for. I'm the kind of person who constantly has to be trying to achieve something. My depression got in the way of the 25K project last year and I spazzed out half way through. I will basically consider this a 100K project except a lot of the other parameters won't apply.

It will be pretty simple I think. I'm gonna do a few basic things:

1) Follow the 200 buyin rule

2) Avoid the distraction of 45-mans

3) Be a consistent player

3) Continue to play even when running horribly

That's about it. I mentioned before that I'm my own worst enemy. I tend to read more into things than are actually there. I end up convincing myself that everything is pointless.

But being aware of this horrible thought process, I feel like I'm able to control my thoughts and emotions a whole lot better. This will allow me not to become overwhelmed and devastated when I'm running poorly. I won't stop playing for a few weeks when I'm running like shit like I have in the past.

I can say this for FACT: if I play at least twenty days out of every month this year I will reach the 100K profit mark. Consistency is the key for me.

At some point I'll do the graphs and stuff on my blog for the 100k profit thing like I did the 25K project. I think it will be real exciting for ppl to follow along and exciting for me to see if I can play as consistently as I feel like I'm able to right now.

Let's have a great Twenty-Ten!!

2009 Wrap-up, Twenty-Ten Goals (Part 1)

Wow what a year 2009 was. I mean, I don't really know how to sum it up but I'll try.

It started off amazing. I ended 2008 with a 13K profit month and entered 2009 with high expectations. January met those expectations by being a 40K profit month (between both sites). I was sure '09 was my year to break through.

If you had told me at the end of January '09 that I'd be grinding micro MTTs to start off January 2010 I would have laughed in your face.

The rest of 2009 is basically a blur at this point. These are the only things I can really remember:

a 12K Main Event package win

a deep run in the mini FTOPS main event (11/11,983)

the 25K Project

But the one thing that stands out above anything in 2009 is how it ended. The last four months were atrocious. I ran into a total brick wall. I had to drop down in stakes again and again. I would grind, move back up, get killed, move down, grind, move back up, get killed, move down, grind, etc etc etc.

So this is where I am at the start of twenty-ten. I find myself deep inside an epic four-month micro grind. I'll get more into the future in just a bit.

Here are my OPR results for the year 2009 on both Full Tilt and Stars:

I'm somewhere in the vicinity of 50K profit on the year (not looking forward to paying taxes, but such is life). The disgusting thing is the majority of my profit for the year all came within one month, January. The entire rest of the year yielded only marginal results as far as I'm concerned.

To illustrate my frustration with how '09 played out I'll show my MTT graph from full tilt:

Now, sharkscope didn't track my 12K main event package win because it was basically a satellite tourney in their eyes. So somewhere in the middle of that graph there should be a 12K spike. Either way though, its clear I've been frustrated for a long time.

At this point I'm very glad to sweep 2009 under the rug and move on. However, it would be foolish for me to try to move on without being honest with myself and looking at some of the mistakes I made.

For one thing, and this is most important, I have to come to terms with the fact that I have some form of depression, bipolar most likely. There is a lot of inner turmoil going on inside me and it affects every single thing I do in life and in poker. I consumed a lot of alcohol in 2009 to ease the pain within my mind.

There is no question all this had an affect on my 2009 poker results. Last February I went to a doctor and was prescribed an anti-depressant. I've been on it for all but one month since then and I can say that it helps take the edge off but it nowhere near solves my problems.

I have great difficulty sleeping, racing thoughts, feelings of grandeur and paranoia, intense feelings of hopelessness and loneliness. It's an incredibly frustrating thing. Every single day is a challenge.

I'm tired of pretending like there is nothing wrong with me and being hard on myself all the time. I'm tired of being erratic and feeling like I live in another world. I've got to face up to this and learn to deal with it more appropriately rather than taking drastic, irrational measures when I feel incredibly overwhelmed.

I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to work this out but I do know three things:

1) I am most definitely my own worst enemy

2) I'm going to try to stop being so hard on myself

3) I'm going to start seeing a therapist so I can get some thoughts out of my head and figure out whats going on inside my mind

Hopefully, through brutal honesty, I can start to make progress with all of this. The more stable I become the better chance I have of being a more consistent poker player, both in terms of profit and consistent playing.

Well I feel this post getting long so I'm actually gonna wrap it up for now. I'll do a post with my thoughts and goals for twenty-ten within the next couple days.